thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
