hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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