i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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