I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
BRING THE BAGELS
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
