On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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