when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
