as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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