you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
