absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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