I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Blow job season was short but glorious.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
