Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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