I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We just shotgunned beers for America
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
