we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
