Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
