I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
