is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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