is your mom at the bar?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
