I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
