I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
