What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
