just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
