Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
