Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
