im having a threesome with these popsicles
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
