Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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