so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
