foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
