i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
this is an emotional support booty call
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
