just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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