How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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