At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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