I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
