ugly people sure do ruin things
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
