Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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