a queef is a wish your heart makes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
