I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
