Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
