How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
