Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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