I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
