by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Can I color on your dick again?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
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