He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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