I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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