If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
