I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
