K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
