i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
