wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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