He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
