quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
