i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
