There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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